Communication skills can make a big difference in whether people tell you the truth or not.
Here's the truth about why I'm writing this article: I want to fulfill my contract with my boss. I want to avoid getting fired. I want all the attractive women I knew in high school and college to read it. I want them to be amazed and impressed and feel a vague regret over their decision not to have sex with me, and maybe if I get divorced or become a widower, at a reunion. I want Hollywood to buy my article and turn it into a movie, even though they kind of already made the movie ten years ago with Jim Carrey. I want to get congratulatory e-mails and job offers that I can politely decline.
Or accept if they're really good. Then get a generous counteroffer from my boss. To be totally honest, I was sorry I mentioned this idea to my boss about three seconds after I opened my mouth. Because I knew the article would be a pain in the ass to pull off. I should have let my colleague Tom Chiarella write it.
But I didn't want to seem lazy. What I mentioned to my boss was this: a movement called Radical Honesty. Universal Pictures The movement was founded by a sixty-six-year-old Virginia-based psychotherapist named Brad Blanton. He says everybody would be happier if we just stopped lying. Tell the truth, all the time. This would be radical enough - a world without fibs - but Blanton goes further.
He says we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths. If you think it, say it. Confess to your boss your secret plans to start your own company. If you're having fantasies about your wife's sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister. It's the only path to authentic relationships.
It's the only way to smash through modernity's soul-deadening alienation. No such thing. One of the most idiotic ideas ever, right up there with Vanilla Coke and giving Phil Spector a gun permit. Deceit makes our world go round. Without lies, marriages would crumble, workers would be fired, egos would be shattered, governments would collapse. Without lies, marriages would crumble, workers would be fired, egos would be shattered, governments would collapse And yet.maybe there's something to it.
Especially for me. I have a lying problem. Mine aren't big lies. They aren't lies like 'I cannot recall that crucial meeting from two months ago, Senator.'
Mine are little lies. The kind we all tell. But I tell dozens of them every day. 'Yes, let's definitely get together soon.' 'I'd love to, but I have a touch of the stomach flu.' 'No, we can't buy a toy today - the toy store is closed.'
Maybe a couple of weeks of truth-immersion therapy would do me good. I e-mail Blanton to ask if I can come down to Virginia and get some pointers before embarking on my Radical Honesty experiment. He writes back: 'I appreciate you for apparently having a real interest and hope you're not just doing a cutesy little superficial dipshit job like most journalists.'
I'm already nervous. I better start off with a clean slate.
I confess I lied to him in my first e-mail - that I haven't ordered all his books on Amazon yet. I was just trying to impress upon him that I was serious about his work.
He writes back: 'Thanks for your honesty in attempting to guess what your manipulative and self-protective motive must have been.' Blanton lives in a house he built himself, perched on a hill in the town of Stanley, Virginia, population 1,331. We're sitting on white chairs in a room with enormous windows and a crackling fireplace. He's swirling a glass of Maker's Mark bourbon and water and telling me why it's important to live with no lies. 'You'll have really bad times, you'll have really great times, but you'll contribute to other people because you haven't been dancing on eggshells your whole fucking life. It's a better life.' 'Do you think it's ever okay to lie?'
'I advocate never lying in personal relationships. But if you have Anne Frank in your attic and a Nazi knocks on the door, lie.I lie to any government official.' (Blanton's politics are just this side of Noam Chomsky's.) 'I lie to the IRS. I always take more deductions than are justified. I lie in golf. And in poker.'
The Truth About Lying
Blanton adjusts his crotch. I expected him to be a bully. Or maybe a new-age huckster with a bead necklace who sits cross-legged on the floor. He's neither. He's a former Texan with a big belly and a big laugh and a big voice. He's got a bushy head of gray hair and a twang that makes his bye sound like bah. He calls himself 'white trash with a Ph.D.'
If you mixed DNA from Lyndon Johnson, Ken Kesey, and threw in the non-annoying parts of Dr. Phil, you might get Blanton.
Communication skills can make a big difference in whether people tell you the truth or not. Knowing when to ask the next question, the behaviors that signal when the whole story isn't being told and what questions to ask can help you cut through deception and lying so you can have confidence in your communications. Based on the same methods used by law enforcement professio Communication skills can make a big difference in whether people tell you the truth or not. Knowing when to ask the next question, the behaviors that signal when the whole story isn't being told and what questions to ask can help you cut through deception and lying so you can have confidence in your communications.
Based on the same methods used by law enforcement professionals, but appropriate for everyday interactions, these skills and techniques can be applied in almost every situation: -hiring a nanny or household worker -working with an employee -talking with a service provider -dealing with a teenager -communicating in a romantic relationship Without threats or intimidation, Walters' strategies will improve relationships and communication by teaching how to spot a liar and, more importantly, how to get to the truth. Eh, not that great. I took some courses on criminal interviewing in college but my days of touring the Ivy League circuit giving lectures on the topic are behind me. With that said, I wasn't that impressed with this one. Tells a lot of basic common sense responses that most people don't pay much attention to but there's nothing enlightening that will make you an expert human lie detector after reading this book.
Stan Walters The Truth About Lying Pdf Viewers
It tells of various techniques to use then spends the rest of the time explaining th Eh, not that great. I took some courses on criminal interviewing in college but my days of touring the Ivy League circuit giving lectures on the topic are behind me. With that said, I wasn't that impressed with this one. Tells a lot of basic common sense responses that most people don't pay much attention to but there's nothing enlightening that will make you an expert human lie detector after reading this book. It tells of various techniques to use then spends the rest of the time explaining that it could be a natural response of the individual under your magnifying glass so you can't really read into it.
I guess it comes down to simple intuition and a closer examination of those you encounter. Honestly, I found this book on my shelf and thought if it's there already and free, why not read it then torment my friends? I gave it a 2nd star only because I liked the print. Big font, skipped lines, etc. Made it easier to read but this book was serving a better purpose collecting dust right where I found it. Readable and easy to use book on the observation in changes in behavior and other patterns of communication that indicate stress, and possibly lying. It should be taken with more than a few grains of salt-many of the behaviors that people display are either eccentricities (unique to the individual) or culturally derived (in a multi-cultural world, as we live now, some behaviors may mean something different in one culture to another).
Nonetheless, as Ekman discusses in EMOTIONS REVEALED, some beh Readable and easy to use book on the observation in changes in behavior and other patterns of communication that indicate stress, and possibly lying. It should be taken with more than a few grains of salt-many of the behaviors that people display are either eccentricities (unique to the individual) or culturally derived (in a multi-cultural world, as we live now, some behaviors may mean something different in one culture to another). Nonetheless, as Ekman discusses in EMOTIONS REVEALED, some behaviors are 'core human' behaviors-as 'human animals,' certain stress responses or basic emotional responses do not vary among cultures.
A good introduction to the field.
Known as “The Lie Guy®”, Stan has spent more than 30 years studying and researching the science of interview and interrogation - much to the dismay of his two daughters as well as all their perspective boyfriends! President of Truth & Deception, Inc. Stan works with agencies and organizations that need to educate their people on how to conduct professional integrity interviews and uncover the real story. As a keynote / motivational speaker, author, trainer, consultant, researcher, media guest and still an interrogator, Stan has carried his passion for finding the truth worldwide including Canada, Germany, Netherlands, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, and the United Arab Emirates. Stan is fiercely committed to preparing every investigative interviewer responsible for finding the truth to be proficient at getting information from anyone using modern professional and ethical interviewing methods that insure justice for crime victims, protects the rights of offenders and delivers the time sensitive critical intelligence information that can literally save hundreds of lives.
The son of a Southern Baptist minister, Stan has witnessed some legendary platform performances. Amazing amy doll manual. Personally logging more than 250,000 hours presenting from the platform, Stan has honed and polished his speaking skills and he is literally the epitome of an highly experienced speaking professional. Stan has earned the National Speakers Association designation of Certified Speaking Professional. Stan calls on his vast experience as an investigative interviewer, his video library of 1200+ inmate interviews in 27 different prisons, and in depth knowledge of human behavior to provide amazing insight even into today’s headlines. Stan’s speaking style and presentation skills inspires the new interviewer, revitalizes the veteran, and raises the dedication of everyone in the audience to doggedly search for the truth. Government and military intelligence agents and special forces trust Stan to prepare them for the task of getting to the truth.
Law enforcement agencies use Stan’s principles to assist crime victims and reduce the risk of false confessions. Private corporations and institutions use Stan to educate their employees on proper interviewing techniques because they know for their bottom line, there is a cost to not knowing the truth.
Stan’s has appeared on ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox News, NBC, Australia Today and profiled twice on National Geographic Channel. Industry Expertise (10). Lisa LaBruno, Vice-President, Loss Prevention & Legal Affairs Retail Industry Leaders Association (RILA) We were very fortunate to have Stan Walters present at RILA’s annual retail Loss Prevention, Auditing & Safety Conference 2010.
His presentation entitled, “Effective Kinesic Interviewing Techniques: What is the Cost of Not Knowing the Truth?” was compelling. The content was thorough, relevant and timely and his delivery captivated the audience. Stan has a unique ability to educate, engage and entertain his audience all at the same time. It was not surprising that Stan’s presentation was rated one of the best sessions by our conference attendees. Teresa Woods, Sr. Vice President Youth Market - American Heart Association Last year in the Great Rivers Affiliate, over $2 million was lost of potential revenue was lost due to 'failure to launch' as commitment from of volunteers were not fulfilled.
In addition the investment of American Heart Association in staff time and resources servicing these accounts was significant. By walking our Youth Marketing Staff through the four stages of successful interviewing, we are now more aware of the appropriate responses that will strengthen our volunteer relationships.
In addition the 'Class R' tools for commitment were extremely helpful and provided our staff with specific steps to gain solid buy-in from our volunteers. McClure, Director - Indiana Medicaid Fraud Control Unit Office of Indiana Attorney General We recently asked Stan to lecture before a group of Elder Abuse Investigators that represented the Indiana Office of the Attorney General and the State's Adult Protective Services group. Not only was Stan's presentation extremely informative for our investigators, he also took the time to tailor his presentation to our group's specific job functions. The only complaint we had was that we didn't get to spend as much time with Stan as we would have liked. Stan is an excellent and entertaining speaker. His science-based topics are a must for any investigator who interviews victims, witnesses, and/or suspects. Event Appearances (1).
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